1. I ate too much Taco Bell and now I’m sick.
Okay, everyone knows that if you eat more than three chalupas, you have an 80% chance of throwing up the next morning, and everyone understands.
2. I’m emotionally frail right now.
I just watched Blue Valentine and I don’t think I can face this cruel world right now. What if my boyfriend and I break up in, like, ten years because our relationship turns stagnant and our dog dies because he didn’t lock the gate and one of us turns into an alcoholic? Who am I kidding? I would never break up with Ryan Gosling.
3. I have to finish writing an e-book.
Who cares if it’s self-published? It’s my literary career, okay?
Read the rest here